New Year's Day

I love New Year's.

I've thought about it a lot this holiday season and I think that it is hands-down my favorite. Yes, over Thanksgiving. Yes, even over Christmas.

I adore dressing in my best (sparkly! gold!) clothes, dancing around, watching the entire world celebrate the same tangible shift, and opening my front door to let the new year into my home.

This day became a favorite during my senior year of high school.

On December 31st, 2016, I drove to a friend's house to celebrate New Year's Eve, but instead of joining the party, I ended up parking in the driveway and waiting in my car until midnight. I didn't get out of my car to walk in to his house until the clock on my dash read 12:01. I sat alone on my cold leather seat and reflected on the year. I cried a little (okay, a lot). That year had been hard, but there was a lot of hope going into 2017. When I walked in to see my friends at 12:04, I felt refreshed.

I am not someone who makes resolutions or says things like, "new year, new me!". I know that the change from 2018 to 2019 does not necessarily bring an immediate, major life change for me.

BUT. There is something rejuvenating about the new year. Even when you're in a middle or a meantime. Even when the in-between is HARD and feels hopeless.

New Year's makes me reflect. It makes me pause. It makes me sit in the front seat of my car until the clock strikes midnight and the date on my phone reads January 1st.

New Year's makes me look ahead. It makes me look forward. It makes me walk back into the house to celebrate with friends, even though tears were shed as I remembered the previous year.

I am currently in an in-between season. And it's been hard. 2018 has felt empty and lonely and hopeless. It has frustrated, disappointed, and hurt me. I have doubted, cried, and closed myself off.

But New Year's has me reflecting and it has me looking ahead. Rather, I am pausing to look back and see where God was good and faithful (even in this dry season) and to look forward and be reminded of His promises and filled with fresh hope.

During this season, I have heard multiple sermons on "the meantime" (from different churches, I might add). I have been pointed back to Philippians and Psalm 23 in more ways than I can count. The word JOY has been planted in my heart and spinning in my head since the summer and is a common theme in prayers for me, over me, and by me.

I am just now - on New Year's Day - realizing the consistency of these in my life in the past year, and specifically, in this season.

I don't think I am done learning these things. God is not done teaching me about joy and filling me with it. I haven't fully grasped the character of the God who breathed Philippians and Psalm 23. There is still wisdom to glean, lessons to learn, tears to shed, praise to give, and a beautiful end to be had.

I am still in a middle.

But New Year's has me reflecting and it has me looking ahead. And this is what I see: I am not alone in this season. God has been faithful and He has promised good things.

Eventually is defined as "in the end, especially after a long delay, dispute, or series of problems". Eventually is full of hope and promise, but doesn't overlook the "meantime". What a beautiful word.

Eventually, I will be stepping into a new season, with its own valleys and peaks and meantimes. And when I do, it will be hand-in-hand with the One was carried me through this season.

Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am [Philippians 4:13].

Sure, I might have some bumps and bruises as I make it through this season - the valleys and in-betweens are steep and rocky, after all - but there is healing, peace, and great joy found in walking through it with Jesus.

As I opened my front door at 12:00am to let 2019 into my home, I wasn't entering a new season - a new year does not always signal a new season - but I prayed for joy and God's hand in this next year. And I know He will be faithful in 2019, just as He was in 2018, 2017, 2016, and every year before.

May the God of green hope fill you with peace and joy [Romans 5:13] in your beginning, in-between, and ending.

Happy 2019, friend.